Chemo #32 & CT results

June 16, 2014

Monday

So after a pretty good weekend and vowing not to think about today, today's the day.. 

Mom gets chemo # 32 & her Ct results after over 4 months since the last one. 

I'm hoping & praying for nothing but good stuff.

Please say a prayer for us and if your not religious just send some good karma our way we can always use it. Xoxo

11:00am

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what are these worth?

Best news yet;-)

Like riding a bike~

Today is Mom's first ct in almost 4 months.. 

Last one was unremarkable and still showing NED (no evidence of disease) in peritoneal cavity.

 Praying today shows the same, and the good days continue to outweigh the bad ones. It's been 18 months since she's been kicking cancer's bum and hoping for many more. 

Months ago I would have waited around the hospital all day waiting on a report as time stood still.

But not today..

Last weekend was the first time in over a year my mom had driven a car, no longer fogged down by pain medications and feeling a new clarity she hadn't felt in some time.

As we talked for hours, she told me how she had allowed fear of the unknown to dictate every move she made. 

Well, Not anymore!!! 

No more waiting on cancer to live our lives, so today we'll go home right after the test, she'll continue driving, living, enjoying our weekends, and praying that this Monday is as unremarkable as all the others have been. 

So the wait may have begun, but we won't give it a second thought or let it own us a moment longer especially while we drive home, lay in the sun or grill with family & friends this weekend:-)

The Lake house~

Cindy:

June 9, 2014

It's been almost 2 months since my last entry which hasn't been for lack of things going on, but just because there's been so much going on it seems.

With me going back to work I was worried it would be hard for everyone to adjust, but I'm happy for once to say I was wrong. 

Mom has been doing pretty good these days aside from her all day sleeping funk. Don't get me wrong there are still really bad days, but for now the good ones are completely outweighing the bad ones.

If someone had told me that this weekend we would spend it at a lake house in Akron, Ohio following these

drinking piña coladas with friends from a online support group that over the past year has become more like a family then anything and that my mom would be joking about cancer and fishing with the kids I wouldn't haven't believed it, but here we are and here she is 18 months later..

As we travel this road together I feel like along with the sadness this disease has brought it has also brought an enormous amount of joy and gratitude in the little things we used to take for granted. 

As we made the 6 hr trip in the middle of the night while the kids slept,

(perfectly planned I must add:-) Mom and I talked about everything under the sun, sang along with the radio and took turns driving as petrifying as that was, since she hasn't driven in over a year.

When we got there I gave her an Iv and she slept for a few hours but when she woke up was energized and ready to lay out In the sun and have fun. 

She loved meeting Rebecca and Robbie who came over for dinner and sat swapping crazy cancer stories and watching the sunset.  

As we made the 6hr drive back to Chicago in the rain, while the kids watched movies in the back I began telling mom how we could rent a huge house in Wisconsin in Sept for the Indian summer festival so we could all get all our family together. I didn't realize how long I'd been rambling feeling excited about the whole idea until I turned to look at her and noticed that she was crying yet smiling. I said "Mom what's wrong? Why are you crying? And she said " I just hope I feel this strong and good come September so I can make that trip. And then I started crying as the realization hit me, that she may not be. And then just like that she started laughing and said "enough of that, now pull over and let me drive, because you drive like Miss Daisy and if cancer doesn't kill me your driving surely will... 

Really mom really,
as you chug down a whole bag of sunflower seeds, who's scared now?