Think before you speak ~ Chemo 23

So today was chemo #23

February 03, 2014

Monday

1:45 pm

 Yay:-)

Mom took an hour nap between port draw and being called in for chemo.

Weighed in 3lbs less then 2 weeks ago.

So I decided to make it my mission to get some stuff to fatten her up while we waited...

I'm probably one of the only people you know who can find a way to shop in a hospital:-)

Tons of greek food & 1/2 dozen cheese Danishes later which by the the way she happily ate a few bites of..

She falls asleep again, this time while getting chemo... ( and she said's I never let her sleep :-)

When her nurse comes in to let me know that they've decided to push her next ct to March 3rd, 2014.

I didn't say anything at first, about the change but I was pretty upset and couldn't help but ask if she could just have it on the 17th to keep on her 8 week schedule as planned. The nurse explained the doctor was unavailable until the 3rd unless something else pressing comes up.

I felt like saying " Like what, cancer?"

 But Instead I said " You'll have to forgive me if I don't want to deter from our schedule, so in case something has changed we can see to it in a more timely manner. 

To which her response was "Don't worry 2 weeks really won't make too much of a difference."

 I said "For a year my mother was misdiagnosed at this hospital and everyone told us not to worry. 

Telling her she had everything from an ulcer, to it was in all in her head and now she's stage 4 and dying. 

 So you'll excuse me if your telling me  not to worry, doesn't raise my confidence in this hospital in even the slightest.

Needless to say we weren't rescheduled and are now having her catscan 10 weeks out, instead of the original 8. Ughhhhhhhh!!!!

The funniest part yet not really so funny, was when she said "even if something were too change in those 2 weeks, we know it's inevitable and coming."

I'd like to tell you that right in that moment I grabbed her by her tiny little neck and squeezed her till her condescending tiny little eyes popped out of her head, you know like in the cartoons it would look a little like this..

But I didn't...

I actually thought to myself  I think I may have liked the other nurse's story from chemo #22 better.

In case you didn't read that entry here's the recap of chemo's #22 inspirational antidote. 

Mom was getting chemo #22 while eating dinner at the same time, the young nurse who was orientating decided to sit down and chat with her.

Mind you I'm not really paying to much attention at this point because during chemo mom usually sleeps and I try to distract myself by reading.

When I hear the nurse say "God does everything for a reason and miracles do happen." Intrigued by what's to come next, I put down my book to listen. 

She begins to tell mom about a patient she had who had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and chosen to seek out a second opinion. 

Now with " miracles happen" being the opening line, what I assumed she was going to say next was that during that second opinion he had found out he had been misdiagnosed or that he had some radical treatment that had cured him. 

You'd think right? Wrong!

Instead she asked us If we had heard around thanksgiving time of a blind woman and her husband dying in a fire. 

It turned out that the husband was her patient with the brain tumor. 

I said "I don't get it". 

She said, " All this time time he thought what was going to kill him was the brain tumor, but what actually took his life was the house fire..

I looked at mom who looked utterly confused and I cringed and waited..... 

Mom turns to her and saids "So is what your saying, not to worry to much about dying from stomach cancer because a miracle may occur where I die in a freak accident before then? 

The nurse realized her story may not have come across exactly the way she intended it too and looked kind of embarassed. 

Mom tried to put the nurse at ease and just smiled telling her not to worry too much about it because she was ready, and when it's her time it's her time. While jokingly encouraging her not to become a motivational speaker anytime soon.

When as we're leaving mom smiles and saids " I'll see you in two weeks, that is if I don't get killed in some random accident before then.

Me, I said absolutely nothing and just thought to myself maybe from now on chemo time should be quiet time, and I should just stick to reading my book....

 I really think these girls should stick to their day jobs and leave the story telling to Dr.Seuss and predicting the future to god, cause they suck!

At that moment the only thing I could find to be positive about, was the fact that mom was sleeping so deeply she didn't get to hear the stupid sh*# people say when they speak before they think..